Lapgedkarjabkopstikarp is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, intelligent skunk.

Lapgedkarjabkopstikarp created a strange quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapgedkarjabkopstikarp, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lapgedkarjabkopstikarp, it will turn you into a worm.

Lapgedkarjabkopstikarp's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Lapgedkarjabkopstikarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Lapgedkarjabkopstikarp's name in vain.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Lapgedkarjabkopstikarp in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help aardvarks in need.

4. Hide if seven manatees approach from the south.

5. Do not cook food in pots.