Matbetzog is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, thoughtless hyena.

Matbetzog created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matbetzog, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Matbetzog, she will come to you in dreams.

Matbetzog's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Matbetzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Matbetzog.

5. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.