Stanwapman is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, deceitful chinchilla.

Stanwapman created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanwapman, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stanwapman, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Stanwapman's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Stanwapman's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Shrews are not to be trusted.