Gudontnan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, passionate giraffe.

Gudontnan created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudontnan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gudontnan, he will turn you into a goat.

Gudontnan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Gudontnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy.

2. Hide if eight otters approach from the east.

3. Always help manatees in need.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Do not speak about lemons.