Matjopbum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful finch.

Matjopbum created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matjopbum, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Matjopbum, it will turn you into a frog.

Matjopbum's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Matjopbum's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Matjopbum.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Worship no other gods but Matjopbum.

4. Do not take Matjopbum's name in vain.

5. Never eat green fruit.