Zanhogsan is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, quiet alligator.

Zanhogsan created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanhogsan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zanhogsan, it will be very sad.

Zanhogsan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Zanhogsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near dolphins while wearing blue boots and balancing seven tin spheres on your legs.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never eat beans.