Hivzogflanfag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, bad-tempered cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hivzogflanfag created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivzogflanfag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hivzogflanfag, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Hivzogflanfag's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Hivzogflanfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never laugh near voles.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.