Tabgum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, sapient jaguar.

Tabgum created a strange quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tabgum, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tabgum, it will think nothing of it.

Tabgum's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tabgum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four hamsters approach from the north.

2. Feed all hungry monkeys.

3. Never feed coconuts to snails while wearing shirts.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always look after injured nematodes.