Bonktomvol is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, calm hydra.

Bonktomvol created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonktomvol, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bonktomvol, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bonktomvol's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bonktomvol's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Retreat if seven gulls approach from the east.

4. Never talk about gravity near pigs while wearing black shorts.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.