Tifcudbid is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, egotistical chinchilla.

Tifcudbid created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tifcudbid, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tifcudbid, he will throw large rocks at you.

Tifcudbid's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tifcudbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tifcudbid.