Vedbitfom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, self-assured alligator.

Vedbitfom created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Vedbitfom, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vedbitfom, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vedbitfom's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Vedbitfom's Holy Commandments

1. Vedbitfom must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.