Yimlagsom is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, loving dove.

Yimlagsom created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yimlagsom, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yimlagsom, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yimlagsom's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Yimlagsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Yimlagsom on top of all buildings.

3. Pigs are not to be trusted.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Worship no other gods but Yimlagsom.