Jamfigbig is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, witty manatee.

Jamfigbig created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamfigbig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamfigbig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jamfigbig's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Jamfigbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Erect three silicon sculptures of Jamfigbig on top of important buildings.

3. Always help eagles in need.

4. Do not take Jamfigbig's name in vain.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jamfigbig.