Sawmumcap is a god.

It takes the form of a small, all-knowing horse.

Sawmumcap created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawmumcap, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sawmumcap, it will not care.

Sawmumcap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sawmumcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt pigs.

2. Worship no other gods but Sawmumcap.

3. Do not hurt snails.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Sawmumcap on top of all buildings.