Lidfetdim is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, confident mouse.

Lidfetdim created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lidfetdim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lidfetdim, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Lidfetdim's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Lidfetdim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Do not keep eight sheep in a large pit.

3. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Lidfetdim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never paint your legs black.

5. Retreat if four swans approach from the south.