Lamrakquatjad Fobquillbam Sasgebspagtammumbomkapnur is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, tranquil owl.

Lamrakquatjad Fobquillbam Sasgebspagtammumbomkapnur created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lamrakquatjad Fobquillbam Sasgebspagtammumbomkapnur, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lamrakquatjad Fobquillbam Sasgebspagtammumbomkapnur, she will destroy your favourite star.

Lamrakquatjad Fobquillbam Sasgebspagtammumbomkapnur's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Lamrakquatjad Fobquillbam Sasgebspagtammumbomkapnur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Always help squirrels.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lamrakquatjad Fobquillbam Sasgebspagtammumbomkapnur.

4. Worship no other gods but Lamrakquatjad Fobquillbam Sasgebspagtammumbomkapnur.

5. Never eat onions.