Shavgutwig Wigrotmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, resourceful guinea pig.

Shavgutwig Wigrotmeg created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavgutwig Wigrotmeg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Shavgutwig Wigrotmeg, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Shavgutwig Wigrotmeg's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Shavgutwig Wigrotmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must pray to Shavgutwig Wigrotmeg nine times a day.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.