Figquat is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, two-faced fly.

Figquat created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figquat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Figquat, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Figquat's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Figquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. You must pray to Figquat seven times a day.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.