Cipcentetti is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic elephant.

Cipcentetti created an electron three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipcentetti, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cipcentetti, he will not care.

Cipcentetti's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Cipcentetti's Holy Commandments

1. Cipcentetti loves seals, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always wear green.

4. Worship no other gods but Cipcentetti.

5. Never talk about gravity near otters while wearing cyan rings and balancing three lead spheres on your neck.