Fedmipsag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, sapient raccoon.

Fedmipsag created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedmipsag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fedmipsag, she will curse you with boils.

Fedmipsag's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Fedmipsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think about special relativity near grasshopers while wearing purple corsets and balancing six titanium spheres on your back.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Fedmipsag on top of all buildings.