Cabvolfutgov Pidzagbag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, passionate manatee.

Cabvolfutgov Pidzagbag created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cabvolfutgov Pidzagbag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cabvolfutgov Pidzagbag, he will turn you into a mole.

Cabvolfutgov Pidzagbag's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Cabvolfutgov Pidzagbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

4. Always obey Cabvolfutgov Pidzagbag's priests.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.