Quartrotflan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered tapir.

Quartrotflan created the Virgo Supercluster four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartrotflan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quartrotflan, he will destroy your home solar system.

Quartrotflan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Quartrotflan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not bounce in public.