Cimsablen is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humorless crab.

Cimsablen created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimsablen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cimsablen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cimsablen's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Cimsablen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Never talk about dark matter near cats while wearing black tights and balancing five lead spheres on your neck.

3. Always help sick voles.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near birds while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing seven platinum spheres on your face.