Zim Zognabfad Omtbenmobriglarg is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, temperamental dolphin.

Zim Zognabfad Omtbenmobriglarg created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zim Zognabfad Omtbenmobriglarg, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zim Zognabfad Omtbenmobriglarg, she will not care.

Zim Zognabfad Omtbenmobriglarg's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Zim Zognabfad Omtbenmobriglarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Zim Zognabfad Omtbenmobriglarg loves voles, so they must be respected.