Stafceptam is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, uncaring rat.

Stafceptam created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafceptam, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stafceptam, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Stafceptam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Stafceptam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Always help turtles.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not laugh in public.