Bigafcinfadvonk is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain hummingbird.

Bigafcinfadvonk created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigafcinfadvonk, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bigafcinfadvonk, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bigafcinfadvonk's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bigafcinfadvonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bigafcinfadvonk three times a day.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Bigafcinfadvonk in the centre of the settlement.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not keep five mites in a large pit.

5. Fast once a month.