Queegfongad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, idiotic fox.

Queegfongad created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegfongad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Queegfongad, he will think nothing of it.

Queegfongad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Queegfongad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to mites while wearing yellow skirts.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Never think about special relativity near goats while wearing fawn dresses and balancing eight lead spheres on your legs.