Tifbomgep is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, generous fish.

Tifbomgep created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifbomgep, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tifbomgep, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tifbomgep's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tifbomgep's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about porpoises.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never laugh in the presence of monkeys.