Ontflanwon Sat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciful sheep.

Ontflanwon Sat created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontflanwon Sat, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ontflanwon Sat, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ontflanwon Sat's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Ontflanwon Sat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.