Ventallak is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish grasshopper.

Ventallak created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ventallak, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ventallak, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ventallak's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Ventallak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ventallak.

4. Do not speak about lemons.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.