Cattalcip is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, generous toad.

Cattalcip created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cattalcip, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cattalcip, it will turn you into a tree.

Cattalcip's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cattalcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near capybaras while wearing yellow shoes and balancing seven carbon spheres on your face.

2. Always treat badgers with great respect.

3. Do not speak about rice.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Cattalcip on top of all buildings.