Quaggunbif is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, selfish goose.

Quaggunbif created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaggunbif, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quaggunbif, she will manifest in front of you.

Quaggunbif's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Quaggunbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Worship no other gods but Quaggunbif.

3. Always help sick manatees.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Quaggunbif on top of all buildings.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.