Hanbudzakrat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, two-faced dugong.

Hanbudzakrat created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanbudzakrat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hanbudzakrat, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hanbudzakrat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hanbudzakrat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine tapirs approach from the north.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Put Hanbudzakrat first in all things.

4. Run away if three sheep approach from the south.

5. Never write about bacteria.