Zedshavyart is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, narcissistic tapir.

Zedshavyart created the Milkyway five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedshavyart, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zedshavyart, he will curse you with boils.

Zedshavyart's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Zedshavyart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always help great tits.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not eat aubergines.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.