Arpquatyam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unjust skunk.

Arpquatyam created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpquatyam, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Arpquatyam, she will boil you in a big pot.

Arpquatyam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Arpquatyam's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Never paint your neck brown.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.