Vilfedlin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid mongoose.

Vilfedlin created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilfedlin, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vilfedlin, she will have a low opinion of you.

Vilfedlin's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vilfedlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta trousers.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

3. You must pray to Vilfedlin nine times a day.

4. Never think about gravity near tortoises while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing seven copper spheres on your neck.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.