Flycibingnuttgonarpvol is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish mink.

Flycibingnuttgonarpvol created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flycibingnuttgonarpvol, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Flycibingnuttgonarpvol, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Flycibingnuttgonarpvol's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Flycibingnuttgonarpvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Flycibingnuttgonarpvol loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

4. Retreat if nine tortoises approach from the west.

5. Always help bats.