Sigfatgut is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, astonishing tortoise.

Sigfatgut created an atom three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigfatgut, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sigfatgut, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sigfatgut's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Sigfatgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gulls.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Do not make images of living things.