Timfagtag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, omnipotent clam.

Timfagtag created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Timfagtag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Timfagtag, it will manifest in front of you.

Timfagtag's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Timfagtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Never think about dark matter near birds while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing three copper spheres on your face.

5. You must love Timfagtag.