Ortnellbusnur Canguncuss is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful dolphin.

Ortnellbusnur Canguncuss created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ortnellbusnur Canguncuss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ortnellbusnur Canguncuss, he will turn you into a tree.

Ortnellbusnur Canguncuss' most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Ortnellbusnur Canguncuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always take life seriously.