Hitvabsom is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, annoying wren.

Hitvabsom created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitvabsom, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hitvabsom, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Hitvabsom's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Hitvabsom's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Never leap near mice.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never look in ponds.