Tiffebsit is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional lobster.

Tiffebsit created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffebsit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tiffebsit, it will turn you into a slug.

Tiffebsit's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tiffebsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs fawn.

2. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not take Tiffebsit's name in vain.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing pink stockings.