God is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, witty ferret.

God created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in God, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in God, it will turn you into a snail.

God's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

God's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

5. Always treat mites with great respect.