Butnilcen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful goblin.

Butnilcen created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Butnilcen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Butnilcen, he will turn you into a frog.

Butnilcen's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Butnilcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Butnilcen's name in vain.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.