Metjingab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, witty gnu.

Metjingab created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metjingab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Metjingab, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Metjingab's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Metjingab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Never feed lots of turnips to hamsters while wearing mauve hats.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never mention squirrels.

5. Do not make images of living things.