Betcatveenfidgan Sogcidwon is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthinking otter.

Betcatveenfidgan Sogcidwon created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betcatveenfidgan Sogcidwon, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Betcatveenfidgan Sogcidwon, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Betcatveenfidgan Sogcidwon's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Betcatveenfidgan Sogcidwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always help dolphins in need.

4. Do not take Betcatveenfidgan Sogcidwon's name in vain.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.