Tadvinwot is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, astonishing scorpion.

Tadvinwot created the Sun two million years ago.

If you believe in Tadvinwot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tadvinwot, he will curse you with boils.

Tadvinwot's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tadvinwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured badgers.

2. Never paint your arms green.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never play with disobedient children.