Betladparkvoldisslogquaghub is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise donkey.

Betladparkvoldisslogquaghub created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Betladparkvoldisslogquaghub, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Betladparkvoldisslogquaghub, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Betladparkvoldisslogquaghub's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Betladparkvoldisslogquaghub's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven tin sculptures of Betladparkvoldisslogquaghub on top of important buildings.

2. You must love Betladparkvoldisslogquaghub.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.