Nabhonstik is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, intelligent troll.

Nabhonstik created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Nabhonstik, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nabhonstik, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nabhonstik's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Nabhonstik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never feed rice to aardvarks while wearing green rings.

5. Do not speak about melons.