Benarppig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unjust faun.

Benarppig created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Benarppig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Benarppig, he will turn you into a duck.

Benarppig's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Benarppig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick voles.

2. Never paint your legs brown.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.