Veghindiss Dotxucgab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unselfish giraffe.

Veghindiss Dotxucgab created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Veghindiss Dotxucgab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Veghindiss Dotxucgab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Veghindiss Dotxucgab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Veghindiss Dotxucgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Feed all hungry mice.