Zencudmum is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered pigeon.

Zencudmum created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Zencudmum, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zencudmum, he will turn you into a worm.

Zencudmum's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Zencudmum's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Zencudmum nine times a day.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zencudmum.