Somhivwod is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair narwhal.

Somhivwod created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somhivwod, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Somhivwod, she will think nothing of it.

Somhivwod's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Somhivwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never eat bark.