Staftignurt is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-confident raven.

Staftignurt created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Staftignurt, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Staftignurt, she will make you grow a tail.

Staftignurt's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Staftignurt's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Staftignurt in the centre of the settlement.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Staftignurt.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about snails.