Paddudtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, uncaring aardvark.

Paddudtaf created the Sol system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paddudtaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Paddudtaf, he will torture you forever.

Paddudtaf's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Paddudtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple aardvarks for they are unholy.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing green stockings and balancing nine silver spheres on your legs.

4. Never sit in the presence of moths.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.