Cubnabmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witty penguin.

Cubnabmeg created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cubnabmeg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cubnabmeg, he will turn you into a snail.

Cubnabmeg's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Cubnabmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never feed lots of gooseberries to tortoises while wearing magenta coats.