Largtettijonquag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive otter.

Largtettijonquag created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Largtettijonquag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Largtettijonquag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Largtettijonquag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Largtettijonquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Largtettijonquag's priests.

2. Never mention bats.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.