Cankapflat Pitnurlwonloop is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous jackal.

Cankapflat Pitnurlwonloop created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cankapflat Pitnurlwonloop, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cankapflat Pitnurlwonloop, it will not care at all.

Cankapflat Pitnurlwonloop's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Cankapflat Pitnurlwonloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill sheep.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near rats while wearing mauve shirts and balancing nine iron spheres on your face.

3. Do not hurt dogs.

4. Never paint your head black.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.